May I introduce..
I’d like to introduce you all to Bob and Tammy, our Gold Star Amway sales representatives this year.
Bob was formally a purchasing officer, but decided to look for a new career after accidentally spending over seven billion dollars on some equipment that his employer could not use and did not want. His previous experience includes destroying universities and heading up a union.
Tammy comes from Western Australia and her winningest sales pitch is not being an old grump from Victoria or a nancy from South Australia.
Bob and Tammy want you to know that you have the potential to achieve anything you want, as long as you put your heart into it.
Last year’s Gold Star couple, John and Peter, have unfortunately separated due to irreconcilable differences which cropped up after an unexpected loss.
Classic stuff, Dave.
I’ve seen Bob before … about 10 minutes ago actually on the 7.30 report. There he was angrily addressing a union rally declaring “I’ve never voted Liberal in my life”. He wore an ear-ring and a funky hairdo. For a moment I thought he was Brendan Nelson the new Liberal Party leader but obviously it’s just a case of mistaken identity, Bob’s a good Labor man.
I’m a good friend so have a responsibilty to take the piss where ever possible so it is with great reservation that I say “Very clever, Dave”.
Yes, very clever. If the Liberals were smart though, they would have elected Bishop as leader. Nelson isn’t off to a great start. Her time may come.
It seems there’s now a question mark over the legitimacy of Bob’s gold star rating.
Apparently a few of the Amway reps who voted for him hadn’t sold enough crappy, overpriced cleaning products to be eligible and have have since been sacked, retrospectively.
The runner-up, Thorpedo (who gets around in budgy smugglers), is known to be fuming and, while he’s all smiles on the outside, it’s believed he has complained like all buggery to the competiton convenor, a Mr Yellowtail, who is shitting himself as usual.
“waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, muuuuuumy, I left Ken and Barbie too close to the heater”