With only two weeks to go until the election it is natural that one’s thoughts turn towards how election night will be spent waiting for the all important declarations. In the great tradition of an unhealthy Australian drinking culture I present for you Dave from Albury’s Election Telecast Drinking Game.
This drinking game is easy. Tune in to the ABC on election night and drink when any of the following are said:
- Small booths
- Eden Monaro
- Early returns
- Quietly confident
- The Australian people
- Large booths
- The door’s still open
- Too close to call
- We’ll know more shortly
If you really want to get smashed include the following:
The advanced section for seasoned gamers is as follows:
- Two drinks whenever Antony Green has bought up the wrong slide.
- Two drinks for a cross to the tally room.
- Two drinks whenever Kerry chuckles after interviewing a losing candidate.
- Three drinks whenever Antony says that the computer is wrong.
- Three drinks whenever a ‘celebrity’ candidate loses.
- Three drinks whenever a Politician refuses to concede a seat that their side has obviously lost.
- Four drinks if the Chaser crash the broadcast, the Liberal’s after party or Labor’s.
- Five drinks if the Chaser physically touch a leader (not counting Bob Brown or Steve Fielding, no-one gives a fuck about them anyway)
- A bottle of Moet when Howard concedes.
- Scotch and razor blades if the Rodent gets back in.