I have a story to share with you all about Mrsdave and how she learnt the maxim ‘You can never go back’ the hard way.
One of Mrsdave’s cherished childhood memories was how much she loved ‘The Pirate Movie’ which, for those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar with it, was a reinterpretation of Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance. Now considering that as a kid my Saturday morning video menu was either Raiders of the Lost Ark or Xanadu, I rarely get a chance to sledge other people’s movie choices; this is one of those chances.
The Pirate movie is, by any objective measure, a smouldering pile of crap. It comes from a time when Australian movie makers felt the need to import B-grade American actors to give their project some reflected glory, and there are few actors more B-grade than Kristy McNichol and Christopher Atkins. From beginning to end The Pirate Movie gives you more and more reasons to stop watching, there’s really nothing redeeming about it.
About six years ago Mrsdave tried to share her love of The Pirate Movie with our friend Lee and myself. To cut a long story short, we laughed it off the screen, much to the dismay of Mrsdave who subsequently refused to engage in civil conversation with us for the remainder of the day. This incident has long been one of those reference points within our relationship that has been used time and again as a case study of how I am not supposed to behave. But all that changed this week.
Mrsdave recently discovered that a friend of hers had a copy of The Pirate Movie on DVD and eagerly borrowed it hoping to rediscover some childhood magic. What happened was something completely different, and it created a tectonic shift in our marriage. Mrsdave couldn’t sit through the entire film, instead she had to turn it off. What seemed amazing in the 80s was all of a sudden embarrassingly camp. What was worse is that she had to admit that for the last six years, I had been right.
Sometimes it’s best to leave the past behind.