One of the things I enjoy about my job is that most of my work is done in other people’s businesses. This variety of locations exposes me to all sorts of interesting trivia and the opportunity to understand a bit more about how some things work. Today one of my jobs led me to visit a new housing estate, you know the type of place I’m talking about, rows of shiny new display homes set in what was up until recently a featureless paddock.
I’m not a big fan of new housing estates, they invariably have narrow, winding streets, odd shaped house blocks, no established trees, featureless homes, no corner stores and no foot paths. But today I found another reason to curse these places without right angle street corners.
The estate I visited today had a landscaping addition that I hadn’t seen before, a swamp.
It’s not a wetland, it’s a swamp. It’s a dirty great big puddle that’s going to end up full of rubbish and mosquito larvae on your doorstep. Which planning genius ticked off on this? Does anyone think that this messy bog hole is a feature?
In addition to the fact that it’s going to stink, force you to spend extra on Aerogard each summer and it’s not particularly visually appealing, the swamp also isn’t safe. Do those fences look childproof to you? If this was in someone’s back yard the council would have a fit about it being an unfenced pool, but because it’s out in the open, thanks to some cockspank in the planning department, it’s suddenly OK? Where’s the logic in that? And before anyone starts preaching ‘parental responsibility’, shut up. Kids should be able to run around their neighbourhood without kill-joy, over protective parents at their side every second of the day. We put grates over storm water drains, so I hardly think it’s inappropriate to keep people away from this fetid bog.
I’m also not interested in anyone trying to claim that this is somehow environmentally responsible. The crappy, boxy, energy consuming houses that will no doubt populate this new estate aren’t somehow offset because there’s a place for some ducks to shit.
Best of luck the people lining up to suffer from mortgage stress so that they can have a fifth bedroom for their only child to play in, in this soulless estate. Enjoy your swamp.