Doppelganger

It is often claimed by some esteemed commentators that the biggest failing of teh Left is their propensity for groupthink. How else could you explain the fact that those of us on this side of the ideological fence are so often in agreement with one another, and indeed so often in disagreement with the vessels of truth on the right?

Naturally, the charge of groupthink is one that we vigourously deny. We are quick to point out that we are often in fierce disagreement over exactly what percentage of the beans in our lattes need to come from organic fair trade sources, how many minority groups need to be invited to a dinner party before it can proceed and what cultural icons of the right we should try to defile.

Sadly, however hard we try to divert attention from the truth that we all receive daily instructions from Al Gore coincidental similarities that we share, we cannot hide what everybody knows. Not only do Leftists all think the same, we’re even all starting to look the same.

Leftists? They all look the same to me.
Leftists? They all look the same to me.

The reality is that we’re really quite different. Scott has an Aluminium 13″ Macbook, I have a white 13″ Macbook. Scott wears white Dunlop Volleys, I wear blue and orange Dunlop Volleys. Scott always carries around a STM laptop satchel, I always carry a Crumpler laptop satchel. Scott writes in black hardcover Moleskine journals, I write in plain softcover Moleskine journals. Scott likes to ride a push bike, I like to ride a motorbike. Scott likes his espresso coffee with milk, I like my espresso coffee with another shot of espresso. You see? We couldn’t be more different.

The final nail in the coffin of this silly groupthink theory, however, is that I’m between seven and thirteen millimetres taller than Scott.

17 thoughts on “Doppelganger

  1. If you’re so bloody smart, Dave, what’s with the “between seven and thirteen millimetres”?

    Get a tape measure, man!

  2. So what you’re saying, Dave, is that your intoxicated state had a negative effect on your ability to see things clearly?

  3. It is reassuring to be less hirsute than the menfolk, Dave, but at the grand old age of 30.33333333 I do find that I’m now getting old lady hairs. Obviously a sign of impending leftist-ness.

  4. Hang on… hairy palms are a sign of the Leftist now? Is that because the Left are actually werewolves and hence the agents of the occult, or because the Left are compulsive onanists?

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