If you don’t like coffee, don’t order it.

I was enjoying a quick break with Mrsdave at one of our favourite coffee houses this afternoon when a woman walked in and decided to insult the barista. I’ll repost what I tweeted at the time.

A woman here just ordered a large, half strength latte. Why not just order a Horlicks & be done with it?

A large latte is already weak, because as a rule it has no more coffee, just more milk, so to ask for it to be made half strength really begs the question, what the hell do you think you’re buying?

I have no problem if people don’t like coffee, whether it’s the taste, the caffeine hit or because you’ve only ever been given international roast, but if that’s the case, why order it? People confuse me no end.

15 thoughts on “If you don’t like coffee, don’t order it.

  1. I ordered a large flat white the other day and couldn’t drink it – way too much milk, of course. I knew I ran the risk of having too much milk, but wasn’t thinking straight at the time. So I just went back and got a regular size. Much better.

    No big deal. That woman sounds like an idiot.

  2. I’m just surprised she didn’t ask for ‘skinny milk’.

    When we had our restaurant I once took an order from a rather large lady:

    “I’ll have a serve of garlic bread, Tempura Prawns for an entree and the large Porterhouse steak medium rare. I’ll look at desserts after.”

    “Any drinks?”

    “Yes, a Diet Coke, please”.

    Seriously … why bother?

  3. I like chocolate topping on my ice cream, but too much chocolate topping ruins the desert. I like more chocolate topping than my wife does, but less than my sister. I’m confused; which one of us is the idiot?

  4. Fair, if not obvious call.

    Perhaps the lady just likes coffee flavoured warm milk. I like coffee flavoured Mooves. Not everyone knows when it is appropriate to order a half macchiato, Sydney style.

    Also, my understanding is that skim milk produces a creamier froth.

  5. elephantandrat: Sorry darl, but the Italian word for ‘Italy’ is ‘Italia’, so you’re back to one Italian word….

    Ray: lattes do contribute to the exploitation of the underclass in third-world countries. Fortunately teh left has finagled itself out of that moral quandry with the creation of the Freetrade mark

  6. I don’t even like people ordering tea in a coffee place. For tea, you go to a tea bar. For coffee, you head to the barista. Isn’t that a simple concept now?

    You can imagine how this orthodox caffeine drinker feels when people slurp on Iced teas in a coffee place.

    Let me not get started on cold caffeine drinks!

  7. Hi Dave, I read your post over at Pure Poison and thought I’d pop over.

    Mmm, coffee, now you have my attention!

    This episode reminds me of a time when working in a pub and a bloke asked for a lite shandy.

    I mean, WTF?

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