Suck it up princess.

These days if you are a trendy home-owner with excellent taste in appliances, it is simply unthinkable that you would use anything other than a Dyson Root Cyclone powered, HEPA filtered, allergy certified, fashionably coloured, lavender scented vacuum to clean your floors. Thirty years ago, however, the pinnacle of vacuum cleaners was a burnt orange and brown barrel made by Electrolux.

Continue reading “Suck it up princess.”

The Company One Keeps

Arriving home to the Dave from Albury Compound yesterday around mid morning I was intrigued to see the intersection just past our driveway had been blocked off by the Police and they were turning around any vehicles that wanted to pass through. As I hadn’t requested anything of the sort (it keeps the paparazzi away) it piqued my interest somewhat. As it turned out, the Police were engaged in trying to convince an armed man who was threatening self harm to surrender to them.

Thankfully the event ended without anyone being hurt, but it adds to the growing tally of issues that the Police have had to deal with in our little corner of the world. It’s amazing how our front fences can enclose us in such a bubble that we lose touch with what’s happening around us until something dramatic occurs.

Who’s been watching you?

Has Google been checking you out? Prompted by this thread over at LP I decided to check if the Dave from Albury Compound had been photographed, fully expecting that street view would have only been performed in major cities. To my surprise, we’re there in living colour. Less surprising is the fact that if you pan the camera around to look up the driveway you can see the Davemobile (the Spazda, not the Audi) parked in the driveway indicating that on the day in question I was probably at home blogging doing research on behalf of my customers.

Have you all been “Street Viewed”? Was the lawn mowed?

Diesel fumes are bad, m’kay.

Fairfax, owner of the Internal Freeway boosting Border Mail, are carrying reports of a new Danish study which has shown that particles found in diesel fumes can lead to changes in brain activity which closely resemble stress.

the result appears to be another black mark for nanoparticles found in traffic fumes, which have already been linked with increased rates of respiratory and cardiovascular disease.

We should probably try to get as many trucks as possible away from residential areas then…..

Boxing is tops

Discussion over at Grods about Jeff Fenech’s decision to re-enter the ring at the tender age of 43 rekindled memories of my brother in law Mat’s one and only time inside ring. Below is a copy of an email I sent to some friends at the time.

From: Dave from Albury
Sent: Sunday, 24 April 2005 1:11 AM
Subject: Albury Boganfest ’05

This weekend seriously challenged the people of Albury. On one hand, at the showground, there was the excitement of monster trucks, demolition derby and a giant mechanical car eating, fire breating dinosour. Alternatively, at a local pub, there was the thrill of blokes beating the crap out of each other in a sanctioned environment – boxing. For your humble narrator there was no choice, Rach’s brother Mat was making his debut as an amateur boxer.

As I left the Dave from Albury compound in East Albury I could hear the crowd’s cheers and the roar of internal combustion engines from the showground. As much as I wanted to sniff the sweet ethanol burning I knew that my place was at the Kinross woolshed to lend my support to Rach’s baby brother.

We entered the arena early to give Mat ample time to prepare for his bout. The Kinross Woolshed was a remarkable sight, I’m still not entirely sure whether there were more crew cuts, mullets or rat’s tails in the crowd. Despite the overwhelming stench of testosterone I can honestly say I have never spent an evening in a pub where all the of patrons were so polite, everyone was petrified that the person they just bumped into was lined up for a fight later in the night.

The opening bout was a 45kg fight – a pair of kids. The Australian Medical Association may say that letting kids box is inappropriate, but I have to say – if it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right. The tall skinny kid and the short tubby kid threw everything they had into 3 rounds and set the scene for an evening where there was much more enthusiasm than skill. The fat kid was declared the winner to the delight of the crowd, who knew much less about scoring a bout than we liked to admit.

Mat was in the fourth fight of the night. Now most of you will know that Mat is a tall, fit bastard who I refuse to stand next to in family photos as I hate the comparison (he’s actually 6 days younger than me). But as the bell rang to initiate the first round I saw an overwhelmed expression on Mat’s face that I had never seen before. The fighter in the red trunks took an early lead as Mat came to terms with the experience of being in the ring. Unfortunately for Mat, he tripped over his own feet while dodging a series of punches and ended up on his arse. This led to Mat being behind on points. At the end of round one we worried how the next two rounds would unfold.

Our fears were unfounded, as once the bell rang to begin round two Mat re-entered the ring with such an obvious sense of purpose that our concern shifted to the well-being of his opponent. Mat’s footwork was exceptional, his evasion was well timed and he sat the other guy on his arse twice, once after knocking him through the ropes. Unfortunately for Mat, his opponent turned his head away on a few occasions, which meant that Mat thumped the back of his head, a non scoring (although very painful) shot. After three rounds the guy in the red trunks could barely remain upright, while Mat was hitting his straps.

The crowd had no doubt as to who the best boxer had been, but in a split decision the bout was awarded to the now incoherent competitor in the red trunks. While we were disappointed for Mat, it was a commendable debut. Within a few minutes Mat was celebrating his first fight, sharing a few drinks with us, while the ‘winner’ of bout four was passed out in the change rooms. I rest my case……. Throughout the evening Mat was accosted by strangers, wanting to tell him how badly he was robbed and how much he would have won by given another round.

The evening continued smoothly until after bout eight when there was a brief intermission. During this break audience members were invited to partake in a ‘fun’ bout using comedically oversized boxing gloves. I can now say with all sincerity that you have not lived until you have seen two drunk women trying to box. The ferocity rivalled any of the fights we had seen before and it was pure mercy that the gloves prevented hair pulling. The blokes bout was sadly lacking in passion after the zealous effort of the ‘ladies’.

To the apparent shock of the promoter and the security staff, the intermission also provided the perfect opportunity for random audience members to punch on. The crowd was packed so tight that security had trouble moving their way to the troublemakers, which didn’t disappoint the crowd one bit. Eventually the fighters in the crowd were removed and the fight card ran its course. This disappointed me greatly as one of the guys removed was due to shout next.

All in all, a fantastic night was had by all. Boxing is now my new favourite spectator sport.



Victorian Government out to destroy Albury’s “Babies for Lesbians” Industry

Under the guise of removing discriminatory laws, the Victorian Government has taken an underhanded swipe at one of Albury’s vital industries, IVF for lesbians. Previously, single women and lesbian couples have been prevented from accessing IVF services in Victoria, a limitation not found in the enlightened health system of New South Wales. This has led to many women from throughout Victoria seeking IVF treatment in the ‘Paris on the Murray’ also known as Albury.

A typical Albury IVF Clinic

Continue reading “Victorian Government out to destroy Albury’s “Babies for Lesbians” Industry”